New Year's Resolutions
It’s the New Year! For many people, the new year brings with it new resolutions, fresh motivation to meet goals, and a determination to achieve what they aspire to. But what happens if you begin the new year revved up to be a new you, or an improved you, or a fill-in-the-blank you, but by the third week of January you find yourself off track? In this article we will explore keeping resolutions, what a fresh start really means, and what the psychology behind falling off the resolution wagon is.
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Why Making Resolutions is Good for You
Making new year’s resolutions does not necessarily mean that something is wrong and that you are setting goals in order to ‘fix’ it. Though if something is wrong, making new year’s resolutions to work on it is a good idea. Still, resolutions can be benchmarks and goals for personal growth. For example, you can resolve to have a more diverse range of experiences, change a perspective, mend a relationship, travel more, or read more books.
Even once we are adults, we are not ‘finished products’. The new year is a great time to make a few commitments to yourself and your self-care. As students of life, we can view setbacks, striving, and meeting goals as ways to acquire new knowledge and increase self-awareness.
Why We Fall Off Keeping Resolutions
Aiming too Big
Sometimes, with the excitement of the new year, we aim too big in terms of our resolutions. Having unrealistic expectations of the changes or improvements we intend to bring about can adversely affect our ability to actually make those changes. Then, when we find ourselves struggling to meet our goals or falling short in our efforts, it is demotivating.
Therefore, while it is good to have a degree of optimism, we must also be realistic when mapping out our goals for the coming year. For example, someone may resolve to overcome an anxiety disorder by the summer. This is an important goal, but the timeline is not taking into consideration the amount of work that goes into managing and recovering from an anxiety disorder. Setting their sights on something more achievable, such as starting treatment for an anxiety disorder, may be better to aim for.
Avoiding Change
When thinking about your resolutions, make sure you ask yourself if you are ready for the kind of change you will be working towards. There is comfort in the familiar, and if you feel resistance from within, perhaps you need to adjust your goal.
Authenticity
Part of the problem with our inability to keep new year’s resolutions is that we are not always authentic in our intention. When setting goals for change, really think about why you need to or want to have a fresh start. Trying to implement a certain change because we think we ‘should’, does not give you the drive needed to achieve it. ‘Should’ implies a sense of shame or guilt, and an absence of choice. Reflect on why you want to bring this change or improvement into your life. Consider how difficult or simple it will be and whether the benefits of achieving it are at least equal to any inconvenience or difficulty you may face in the process of sticking to your resolution.
Also, spend some time thinking about whether you are truly ready for change or a fresh start. Can you visualize yourself taking the steps towards this resolution? Do you have an action plan for the process? Finally, how will you sustain the change you have made? Consider making a plan to get back on track if you find yourself slipping either during the process or after (see our tips below for more on this).
Making too Many Resolutions
The new year is considered to be a time of fresh starts – but think about what a fresh start means to you. If you try to bring about too many changes from the get-go, it may become overwhelming. Focus on a few key improvements you would like to go after. It may even help to divide your resolutions into a timeline along the four quarters of the year.
Tips to Help you Stay on Track
Set Bite-Sized Goals
Avoid jumping to directly making the change that you are aiming for. Instead, break up the plan for accomplishing your goal into small, easily completed steps. These will be easier to fit into your routine and give you a faster sense of satisfaction. Getting little, measurable results on the way to the end goal is rewarding and will give you incentives. Think about your routine and schedule, and how you can fit these smaller goals into it. We are more likely to follow through on things when they fit conveniently into our daily life.
Additionally, easing into a change is more sustainable than diving in. This strategy can also help you allay procrastination, as you are not taking big steps or attempting to instill change all at once. Since small steps are more attainable, you will be less likely to put off doing them.
Be Held Accountable
There are a variety of apps that can help you mark your progress and milestones. You can also put reminders into certain apps or in the calendar on your device. Or you can use something as simple as a physical calendar to mark your progress.
Pick a Buddy
If you have a close friend or family member that is interested in achieving the same goal as you, buddy up with them. Working towards a result with another person can be motivating and you can hold each other accountable. It can also help to have someone who understands the struggle and who is perhaps experiencing the same joys and disappointments as you in this journey.
See if you can find online communities or forums whose members are people who are working toward the same goal as you. Finding support can be valuable when you are in the process of making a change.
Reward Yourself
Remember to acknowledge any progress you have made and celebrate it. Celebrate a milestone you have reached with someone close to you or treat yourself.
If possible, try to connect your resolution to something you enjoy doing. For example, if you resolve to have at least one healthy meal a day, and you enjoy cooking, blend these two things together. Cook yourself a nutritious dinner! If your goal is to read more, and you like socializing, join a book club or start your own. If reaching your new year's goal does not feel like a slog, you will be more likely to stay on track.
Avoid Guilting and Criticizing Yourself
A big part of this is self-compassion. Avoid criticizing yourself or using guilt as a way to get something done. Rather, try to be mindful of the way you talk to yourself. Our inner voice can be our biggest critic, so consciously work to make its tone the same that you would use when speaking to a dear friend. You may slip up and make mistakes - focus on how to bounce back instead of beating yourself over it.
Be Firm in Your Resolve
Planning for any predictable obstacles can help you be firm in your resolve to reach your goals. Allow some room for flexibility and any adjustments needed along the way. Being firm in your resolve will come handy if you go off your chartered course. This is also when flexibility and being open to adjustment comes in. For example, you may get influenced by others, such as a friend or co-worker, to do something that is not in line with your new year’s goal. Or, you may be feeling too tired, or even feel like giving up if you are not seeing results fast enough. Still, if you are having trouble staying on the path, consider our next tip.
Reevaluate your Resolution
If you are losing motivation or are having trouble working toward your goal, consider reassessing it. It may help to adjust your expectations, your strategy, and your timeline for achieving it. Be specific when setting your resolutions for the new year. If they are too general, it may be more difficult to set down a definite plan of action. For example, instead of setting a goal to ‘Eat more healthy’, you could edit it to ‘I will eat at least 4 servings of fruit a day.’
Finally, think about whether your resolution is in alignment with your values, morals, and beliefs. Making resolutions that can be absorbed into your way of life while enhancing it at the same time is key.
So, best of luck to you in the new year! If you find yourself falling off your resolutions, circle back to this article and explore the many others we have on mental well-being, relationships, parenting, boundaries, and more.
Trust Mental Health has a team of BIPOC therapists that offer a variety of therapy services including anxiety therapy in California. We conduct sessions both in person and online. Contact us today for a free 15 minute consultation.
Key Points
Below are the main takeaways from this article:
Making new year’s resolutions does not necessarily mean that something is wrong and that you need to ‘fix’ it. Resolutions can be benchmarks and goals for personal growth.
We often have difficulty keeping our resolutions because we aim too big, are not ready for change, are not intentional, or make too many.
Ways you can stay on track are: take it in small steps, hold yourself accountable, team up with a friend who has the same goal, reward yourself, avoid criticizing yourself, be firm, and reevaluate your resolutions.
FAQs
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Anxiety disorders are a group of mental health conditions characterized by excessive and often irrational worry, fear, or anxiety that can interfere with daily life.
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Symptoms may include restlessness, excessive worry, rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, and sleep disturbances.
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An anxiety disorder can be caused by a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors, including traumatic experiences or a family history of anxiety disorders.
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Treatment options include anxiety therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.