Understanding the Influence of Parents on Body Image
What is Body Image?
My early life experiences surrounding body image come from many sources, but by and large, these memories take place in my childhood home as I observed my parents interact with their own bodies. I remember my mom turning sideways in mirrors to check how a dress fit around her stomach, and my dad commenting about not needing the extra pounds a dessert could add. These experiences contributed to my own understanding of my body image from a young age. It’s important to remember that every individual has a unique relationship with their body.
The concept of body image encapsulates all of our thoughts about our bodies, both positive and negative. It culminates in the overall image we have of ourselves, and it may change depending on the context we are in, the people we’re around, or the way we talk to ourselves. Many of our initial impressions about our bodies come from observing our parents’ attitudes towards their own figures. This blog post aims to explore that connection and offer suggestions about breaking free from that cycle.
Early Formation of Body Image
Our understanding of our body image begins to form in childhood. During this stage of development, we develop gender schemas, which are mental structures to organize and sort characteristics associated with different gender identities. This is why young children are often confused when they see a girl with short hair or a boy with long hair—it challenges their gender schemas, which are still in the early stages of development.
These gender schemas often include our understanding of how we expect certain bodies to look, and what is deemed attractive within those bodies. We learn a lot of this from our parents. Children tend to listen closely when their parents share judgments about other bodies, but also about their own. It’s important to be aware of how your parent talked about people’s appearances and how that impacts your own view of the world around you.
Cultural and Familial Factors
It is important to explore how cultural and familial factors influence body image growing up. The beauty standards in someone’s culture of origin may be very different than the beauty standards in the dominant culture. This can result in a complicated relationship with one’s body, wherein someone could meet the beauty standards in their culture of origin but not within the dominant culture, or vice versa. This could leave someone feeling like their body will never be “good enough.” It is valuable to think about how these varying cultural expectations may have influenced someone’s attitudes towards their body. Understanding these key developmental moments helps us hold compassion and empathy for ourselves and others.
Modeling Behavior
Young children are known to model their parents’ behavior. You may have seen this in a preschooler who imitates their parent’s stance or a child who replicates a parent’s exercise routine. As a young child, it is common to model your parents’ behaviors towards their bodies as well. For example, if your mom always checked her face in the mirror before leaving the house, you may have found yourself doing the same thing. Additionally, you may relate to having an “almond mom,” a concept many people have explored on social media to discuss the impact of being raised by a parent who restricted their own eating. There is an innate desire to follow the model you’ve been given, as such, these modeling behaviors can extend themselves to attitudes towards food, exercise, and self-talk concerning body image.
Parental Communication about Body Image
Parental communication about body image is highly influential to young children, largely because they are still exploring their ideas about bodies. A parent who speaks positively about their child’s body, using phrases like, “I love your smile,” or, “I love how this outfit looks on you,” is more likely to have a child who will speak positively about themselves. They will be more likely to appreciate their bodies.
On the other hand, children who grow up in an environment where parents are critical of their child’s body are likely to continue to speak to themselves negatively as they grow up. These individuals may struggle with accepting themselves as they are because they were not given the unconditional acceptance many of us desire from our parents. This behavior may come from parents modeling the lack of acceptance they received from their parents, which is what makes this behavior so cyclical.
Breaking the Cycle
Unpacking the childhood dynamics that influence your current body image can be an emotional process; however, breaking the cycle is meaningful, because it offers an opportunity to freely exist in your body as it is right now. This may look like reparenting yourself concerning your body through techniques like positive self-talk, a focus on self-acceptance, or making a real effort to wear the clothes that make you feel happiest.
Breaking the cycle can also look like promoting a healthy body image for any children in your life. You may explore talking to children about what they like about their bodies, how to examine their self-worth as something that encompasses one’s character, or permitting young people to love themselves. Being a model for children to understand what self-acceptance looks like can also be a powerful way to tend to your own childhood wounds surrounding body image.
Addressing Negative Influences
When looking to improve your body image, it can be helpful to first examine the things that contribute to a negative sense of self. This could include interpersonal relationships, social media, social pressures, and even the pair of jeans that’s been in the back of the closet for years that you hope you’ll fit into again. All of these influences contribute to a negative self-image. If you identify with any of these ideas, it can be helpful to draw some boundaries in those areas of your life. You may have a conversation with a friend whose negative comments have felt hurtful to you, decide to unfollow anyone who makes you feel bad about your body image, and tuck those jeans somewhere safe so that you won’t have to see them every day. You’re allowed to do whatever you need to do to help you feel comfortable being yourself.
Emotional Support and Body Image
Emotional support can be a huge component in cultivating a more positive relationship with your body. Social validation and acceptance can help mitigate the negative impact of societal pressures. It may be helpful to look to some close friends to open up to. Share your struggle with your body image and see if they are able to offer any positive reinforcement or reassurance. You may also seek support through therapy, a dietitian, or support groups.
In the case that most of your challenges with your body image originate from childhood experiences, it may be helpful to start a conversation about that with your family members. If you have siblings, they may be able to validate your view of how body image came up in your family. Opening up the conversation with your parents may help them recognize a desire to heal their body image, which can be empowering.
Conclusion
Throughout this post, we explored some of the ways that body image is influenced by early childhood experiences, as well as a few strategies to help cultivate a more positive relationship with one’s body image now. It’s important to be mindful of the way that body image struggles can grow into challenges related to one’s relationship with food and eating. If you know you’re struggling to build a positive body image and need some support, therapy could be a great resource. Trust Mental Health has therapists who are prepared to help you develop a more positive relationship with your body. We also have a dietitian on our team who could help you cultivate a better relationship with food. Our team is trained to help you heal your relationship with your body and find the peace you deserve.
Key Points
Childhood experiences, particularly interactions with parents, significantly influence one’s body image. Observing parental attitudes towards their own bodies can shape a child’s perception of their own.
Body image is largely influenced by cultural and familial expectations, which may differ from dominant societal standards. Understanding these influences fosters empathy towards oneself and others, as individuals navigate conflicting ideals of beauty and acceptance.
Unpacking childhood dynamics surrounding body image is crucial for cultivating a positive relationship with one’s body. Strategies such as positive self-talk, self-acceptance, and boundary-setting contribute to developing a more positive relationship with oneself.
FAQs
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Cultural factors shape parents' perceptions of beauty and influence the messages they convey to their children about appearance. This can include ideals of thinness, muscularity, or specific physical features.
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Parents can promote a healthy body image by modeling positive behaviors, emphasizing the importance of health over appearance, and providing unconditional love and acceptance.
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Yes, parents can help their children develop resilience by fostering a strong sense of self-worth, teaching critical media literacy skills, and providing a supportive environment where their children feel accepted and valued regardless of appearance.