The Effect Your Relationships Have on Your Well-being
In today’s busy world, all of us are consumed with juggling multiple responsibilities. It can be easy to overlook how important our friendships and relationships are, and how they impact our overall well-being. Yet, who you choose to spend your free time with and the quality of that connection can affect everything from your values to your daily stressors. To what extent do your relationships affect your overall well-being— are your relationships stress inducers or relievers? Read on to find out.
Table of Contents:
Good Relationships Benefit Your Health
Relationships fulfill our inherent need to belong and be connected. Research has consistently shown that strong social connections can lead to significant physical and mental benefits—like lower levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and stress and simultaneous higher levels of immunity—leading to more happiness and a greater sense of well-being.
Improved Self Worth and Emotional Resilience
Security in your relationships can enable you to manage challenges in life with greater resilience. Good friends and family are likely to recognize your strengths while withholding judgment and providing constructive criticism, thus creating space to motivate and support you through hard times in a way you can trust. Knowing you have this team of people who love you through the good and bad provides a buffer against stress; they will always be there for you, protecting you from despair. Simultaneously, you also have the space to learn and grow with the certainty that you will do so in a supportive environment. Having these relationships to lift you up and celebrate your successes (and failures) ultimately helps you grow an overall sense of self-worth and emotional resiliency through life’s ups and downs.
Your Daily Habits
Surrounding yourself with people who have your ideal habits, values, and mindsets can be impactful and inspiring. For example, if your friend or partner enjoys living an active, balanced lifestyle, you may likely follow suit. This could look like holding each other accountable or joining each other in exercising, eating well, and sleeping at reasonable hours. We are the amalgamation of the five or six closest people we spend time with. The habits, routines, and emotions in your group can interact and heighten with one another, influencing the way you think and feel. Therefore, the alternative can also be true, if your friends or partner have unhealthy coping mechanisms or daily habits, you may find yourself getting caught up in their lifestyles unknowingly. For example, if you’re trying to build new habits, you may find it difficult or tempting to see your loved ones partaking in habits you’re trying to stop.
A Safe Space
A strong relationship provides a safe space for your vulnerabilities. Knowing that you can openly share your feelings, fears, and thoughts with someone creates a safe space to process situations in your life and validate your emotions about them. Processing and reflecting on negative experiences in your life significantly reduces stress and the opportunities for alternative, unhealthy behaviors.
Healthy Relationships
As you evaluate the qualities of your individual friendships, you can reflect using the list below. How many of the following are components of your relationship?
__ You feel supported and encouraged by them– emotionally, mentally, and generally.
__ You enjoy their company and look forward to seeing them.
__ You actively seek to share both good and bad news with them and know they will be there through both parts of your life.
__ They show gratitude to have you in their life.
__ There is mutual empathy, consideration, trust, and respect.
__ You respect each others’ boundaries.
A healthy relationship is an uplifting, secure, and stable force in your life. Of course, no relationships are perfect—conflict is inherently unavoidable, but the way you both handle the conflict is what makes the difference. When you both communicate well, handle challenges as a team, take time to understand the other person’s perspective, and listen to one another without judgment, it creates comfort, companionship, and safety in the relationship.
But if you miss these crucial elements within a friendship or partnership, it can equally impact and determine your well-being.
A Bad Relationship can be Bad for Your Health
While healthy relationships can enrich us, an unhealthy relationship can affect nearly every aspect of our well-being— whether mental, emotional, or physical.
Loneliness and Stress Levels
When we use the term loneliness, we aren’t referring to the time you spend alone but rather the feeling of disconnection from others, even when you’re surrounded by people. That loneliness can have a dangerous effect on your mental and physical health—especially when we consider the fact that 20 - 43% of adults over the age of 60 experience frequent or intense loneliness.
In particular, stress levels can increase when we feel lonely because our body’s fight-or-flight mode can get triggered, which can, in turn, cause a physiological response of elevated cortisol levels. Increases in cortisol levels in an individual can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. If this stress becomes chronic, it can lead to high blood pressure, strokes, and built-up plaque in the heart— eventually leading to cardiovascular diseases.
Anxiety, Depression, and the Effect on Your Physical Health
Being in a toxic relationship can also cause anxiety and depression in your life. Toxic relationships can create environments of emotional instability, leading to anxiety and depression. The constant ups and downs lead to heightened anxiety and, over time, the mental toll of being in a toxic relationship can deeply affect your self esteem and mental health, potentially causing feelings of depression. You may feel tired, worn out, or fatigued on a consistent basis from the words or actions of your loved ones. You may find that you become a lot more forgetful, or lose the motivation to do much of what you used to enjoy. People also somaticize their emotional pain by developing body aches, headaches, and muscle tightness or soreness. When this exhaustion or stress builds up, it opens up the pathways to the development of many health issues, like digestive issues or autoimmune disorders. Hormonal imbalances can also arise due to a chronic stress response or frequent flight or flight responses.
Sense of Self
A toxic friend or partner may be controlling and exert dominance. To do this, they often attempt to detract from your autonomy and sense of self. Over time, this can cause your own wants, needs, and goals to be pushed aside. Unfortunately, a toxic relationship is difficult to cope with and manage. It can take up a lot of your time and mental, emotional, and physical energy. You may begin to sacrifice your efforts in other areas of your life due to the constant drama within your relationship. People struggling with this often find that therapy can help them better cope with and manage their symptoms.
Toxic Relationships
A relationship does not necessarily need to be abusive to be considered toxic. There are other, subtle factors that can indicate dysfunction in your relationship. These include the following:
__ You feel drained, irritated, or depressed after interacting with them.
__ The give and take in the relationship is one-sided.
__ They don’t bring out the best in you.
__ You are made to feel like you are always at fault or the cause of problems.
__ Your self-esteem is being negatively affected.
__ You do not feel supported or considered.
__ You cannot identify or feel the value the relationship brings to your life.
If you find yourself in a toxic or draining relationship, it is important to know that you are not alone, and you don’t have to go through it alone. When dealing with these emotions or experiences, support is available. Reaching out to a family member, close friend, or professional is a good step to talk it out and the first step towards healing. You deserve to feel supported and safe, and there are people and resources that can help you feel healthy in your relationships.
Your Relationship is Linked to Your Well-being
How you are treated in your relationships can affect your sense of self and your self-esteem. If you are with someone with whom there is continuous conflict, problems, or tension, it can start to affect the way you feel about yourself and how your body reacts. On the other hand, if your relationship is a safe space with mutual respect, consideration, and support, it can empower you to flourish. Being respected, valued, and loved can help cultivate self-confidence and is empowering—physically and emotionally.
Trust Mental Healthhas a team of experienced,BIPOC therapists that are here to support you in your journey to wellness. Between us, we speak 18 languages—like Hindi, Spanish, and Mandarin—and our varied backgrounds enable us to approach each therapy session with an understanding of the cultural nuances our clients come with. We offer sessions both in person and online - view our locations here. Contact us today for a free 15 minute consultation. We will match you with a therapist best suited to your unique needs.
FAQs
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Trauma therapy is a form of psychological treatment designed to help people overcome the emotional and psychological effects of traumatic experiences. It aims to help individuals process and make sense of their traumatic experiences in order to reduce distress and improve overall functioning.
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Trauma therapy can benefit individuals who have experienced a wide range of traumatic events, including but not limited to physical or sexual abuse, combat exposure, natural disasters, accidents, and interpersonal violence. It can also be helpful for those experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other trauma-related disorders.
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During a trauma therapy session, you can expect to work collaboratively with a trained therapist to explore your thoughts, feelings, and reactions related to the traumatic event(s). The therapist may use a variety of techniques to help you process the trauma, including talk therapy, relaxation exercises, mindfulness techniques, and exposure-based interventions.
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You can start by asking your primary care physician or mental health provider for recommendations. You can also search online directories of licensed therapists and look for those who specialize in trauma therapy. It is important to choose a therapist who has training and experience in treating trauma and with whom you feel comfortable and safe.