Understanding Perfectionism: Recognizing, Managing, and Overcoming It
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is an unrealistic and unfair personal pursuit of flawlessness. Perfectionists often hold themselves to incredibly high standards and tend to be critical of themselves when they fall short of those expectations. This can lead to increased levels of stress, emotional outbursts, low self-esteem, and burnout because it is ultimately impossible for a perfectionist to feel satisfied with themselves.
It is important to note the difference between healthy goal-setting and perfectionism. Someone who sets healthy, realistic goals for themselves will benefit from this personal growth, but they will be patient with themselves as it occurs. For example, someone setting a healthy goal to develop a new habit of meal prepping will start small. They may begin by prepping one meal per week, and gradually increase the goal as time progresses. If there is a week where they are unsuccessful in meeting this goal, a healthy goal-setter will remain compassionate with themself as they build this new habit. In contrast, a perfectionist would be more likely to begin with an unattainable goal (i.e. I will go from meal prepping zero meals per week to prepping all of my meals and snacks for the next month), and, when they are unsuccessful, they will take that a failure of their character.
Perfectionists tend to have an all-consuming fear of failure, an all-or-nothing mindset, and are extremely self-critical. This blog post will examine ways to cope with these traits to recover from the challenges associated with perfectionism.
The Impact of Perfectionism on Mental Health
Due to the amount of pressure they put on themselves to achieve at impossible levels, perfectionists can be prone to chronic stress, anxiety disorders, and depression. This may result in physical health symptoms as well, such as fatigue, headaches, and insomnia. Further, perfectionists may struggle in their interpersonal relationships. They may project their high standards for themselves onto their loved ones, leading to increased conflict. They may also reject connections with others because those individuals may not meet the perfectionist’s impossible standards. This social isolation may further their mental health challenges, as it pushes the perfectionist to hide their symptoms, which they may already view as a personal failure.
Recognizing Signs of Perfectionism
If you’re wondering if you or a loved one may be a perfectionist, there are a few common signs that you could look out for. Perfectionists often struggle with procrastination because they fear not meeting their high standards. For example, they may begin a school project the night before it is due, because it is difficult to always muster up 100% effort on every little thing. The procrastination helps them focus on the fact that they completed the task at all, rather than wondering if they’d done it well. Additionally, they may struggle to delegate tasks because they do not believe others can meet their standards. This comes from their intense fear of making mistakes, failing, or being judged by others.
Strategies for Managing Perfectionism
Set Realistic Goals
For people looking to heal their perfectionist tendencies, it can be helpful to begin by setting smaller goals. When you break tasks into smaller steps, it can allow you to have a greater likelihood of success. When you achieve your goal, you will feel more confident in yourself, and there is room to continue to set small goals to get you where you eventually want to be. For example, if you have a goal to exercise more often, it is helpful to begin working out twice per week for five consecutive weeks and build from there, rather than jumping right into working out six days per week.
Practice Self-Compassion
Part of perfectionism involves being critical of yourself. Self-compassion can be a good counter to that. This practice can help you recognize that mistakes are a natural part of life. It can also help you shift your perspective, allowing you to recognize mistakes as opportunities to grow into a better version of yourself. For example, a perfectionist might have the impulse to feel angry with themselves if their boss gave them some constructive feedback on their latest performance. However, self-compassion allows that individual to understand that their boss’s feedback came from a caring place, and it will help them become a better employee.
Prioritize Tasks
Perfectionists may struggle to prioritize tasks because they often feel like all tasks need their full attention. Therefore, it can be helpful to learn to focus most of your energy on the most important things, rather than getting bogged down by the minor details.
Seeking Professional Help
If you’ve noticed that your perfectionist tendencies are negatively impacting your mental health and daily functioning, help is available. Trust Mental Health offers Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which may help you reframe your perfectionist thinking patterns. We also offer individual therapy in person and online in California. Our therapists are prepared to help you heal from your struggles with perfectionism. Reach out for a free fifteen-minute consultation.
Key Points
Perfectionism can lead to chronic stress, anxiety disorders, and depression due to the immense pressure to achieve unrealistic standards. This pressure often manifests in physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, and insomnia. Perfectionists may also experience interpersonal difficulties, projecting their high standards onto others, which can lead to conflict and social isolation, further exacerbating their mental health issues.
Common signs of perfectionism include procrastination, difficulty delegating tasks, and an intense fear of making mistakes or being judged. Perfectionists often delay tasks due to the fear of not meeting their own high standards and struggle to trust others with tasks.
Managing perfectionism includes setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, and prioritizing tasks. These strategies help individuals break down tasks into manageable steps, view mistakes as growth opportunities, and focus on the most important tasks instead of getting overwhelmed by minor details. Seeking professional help can also be beneficial for those whose perfectionist tendencies significantly impact their mental health and daily functioning.
FAQs
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Someone should consider seeking professional help if perfectionist tendencies are significantly impacting their mental health, relationships, or daily functioning. Persistent feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem, or if they feel unable to break free from perfectionist habits on their own, are strong indicators that professional help may be beneficial.
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Perfectionism can strain relationships as perfectionists may project their high standards onto others, leading to conflict. They may also isolate themselves due to fear of being judged or disappointed by others not meeting their standards, which can lead to social isolation and further mental health issues.
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Healthy goal-setting involves setting realistic and achievable goals, being patient with oneself, and viewing mistakes as opportunities for growth. In contrast, perfectionism involves setting unattainable goals, being overly self-critical, and seeing mistakes as failures that reflect negatively on one’s character.