Young Men and Mental Health
Young men receive a lot of messaging about how they are supposed to look, behave, and how to project themselves. They receive as much of this input as young women do. This input comes in various forms – social media, other media outlets, peers, teachers, and parents. We try to educate our young women and mitigate the effects of toxic gender norms. However, we do not do this enough for our young men.
Young Men are Disconnected
In her book, Boys and Sex, Peggy Orenstein interviewed high school and college-going young men all over the country about their experiences with and views on gender roles, love, and masculinity. Through her hundreds of interviews, she found that young men go through high school and college in a state of disconnect. They are not attuned to their true inner selves. The youth actually push down who they really are, and cover their true selves with who they think they should be. This disconnect eventually leads to mental health issues. Young men feel a need to conform to societal and gender norms. They do not even think to question these imposed norms. This also has a negative impact on their mental health outcomes.
Orenstein notes, "With boys, it felt like they were being cut off from their hearts…society doesn't often give boys "permission or space" to discuss their interior lives. Maybe that's why the young men she spoke to were so eager to open up: "When they had the chance [to talk], when somebody really gave it to them and wasn't going to be judgmental about what they had to say, they went for it."
The boys she spoke with felt constrained by traditional notions of masculinity. One interviewee confided that he preferred to partner with girls for school projects because, "It was OK to say you didn't know what you were doing with a girl, and you couldn't do that with a guy."
"That idea of emotional vulnerability was so profound for boys," Orenstein says. "Vulnerability is basically essential to human relationships, so when you cut boys off from the ability to be vulnerable, you're doing them a huge disservice."[1]
The security and freedom to be vulnerable is clearly important for young men.
Trapped by How They are ‘Supposed’ to Behave
Young men are not receiving the type of counseling or messaging they need to help them confront and stand up to the traits of toxic masculinity that are planted in them. They do not receive correct information from mentors, peers, social media/media outlets, or even their parents about:
gender roles
misogyny
self-care
asking for support
where to get help.
If they do receive guidance in these areas, it is usually missing the aspect of mental wellness.
When it comes to the way they present themselves in public, many men who responded in the survey made clear that they still seem governed by traditional standards of male behavior. They’re less comfortable crying in front of other people than women are, even at happy occasions like weddings. This adherence to old-school social norms isn’t only a reaction to external expectations; it also rears its head in the form of prejudices about what gender expression should look like.[2]
Awareness about Young Men and Mental Health
Conversations about the mental health of young men do not seem to take up as much space as mental health discussions concerning other demographics. Our male youth are also dealing with the repercussions of the Covid-19 pandemic. They are as affected by trauma, depression, anxiety, divorce, violence, abuse, identity conflicts, etc. But they do not always have the vocabulary to express themselves. They also lack the awareness and space to have conversations about how they feel and work through it.
All too often, when symptoms of depression or anxiety present in young men, they are not recognized. They are written off as ‘boys being boys’ or teenage angst. Mental health disorders have a lower rate of diagnosis in men. Even if diagnosed, men are less likely than women to seek treatment.
Talking about feelings and emotions and seeking help from mental health services is often more stigmatized for men than it is for women. There are deep behavioral expectations and societal rules imposed upon men in our society. This results in less men talking about what they are going through, and less men receiving help.
American men are subjected to a culture where the standards of masculinity are literally killing them.[3]
Stereotyping the Young Male
Even from a young age, boys are bombarded with stereotypical constraints that box in their emotional expression. They are told not to cry, to ‘be a man’, to toughen up, to ‘take it like a man’, ‘don’t be a girl’, etc. Young men are expected to be emotionally and physically strong. Showing weakness is often ridiculed and is not accepted. Boys are not members of the kind of peer groups in which they can talk about their real issues.
At school, in the home, in their sports teams, and among their peers boys are praised and admired for embodying these standards of behavior and attitude. Even when boys and young men recognize that they are struggling and want to reach out to someone, they may not do so. This could be due to feeling embarrassed, wanting to fit in, or not knowing who to turn to. They know that in order to conform they must hide how they really feel.
“If you are expending energy to pretend you’re something that you are not, if you are constantly faking it, that contributes to anxiety and depression.”[4]
How Do Mental Health Issues Present in Young Men/Boys
Symptoms of mental health issues may present differently in young men. Some examples include (but are not limited to):
Exposing themselves to risk, risk-seeking behaviors
Anger, irritability
Violence or aggression
Trouble concentrating
Change in eating patterns, weight gain or loss
Intrusive thoughts
Fatigue
Misuse of substances
Withdrawing from family and friends
Bullying
Physical ailments
Below are some facts and statistics about the changing dynamics of mental health in young men:
Men are two to three times more likely to misuse drugs than women.[5]
In 2021, the suicide rate among young men aged 15-24 went up by 8%. [6]
79% of people who die by suicide are male.[7]
Common mental health disorders in men include depression, anxiety, substance abuse disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one of the biggest mental health issues in men is depression – and many men are undiagnosed. Most men do not speak to anyone regarding concerns about their mental wellbeing.
A survey conducted by GQ found that 38% of men ages 16 to 34 worry about their mental health on a daily basis.
Getting Support
Young men should get the care they require and be included in the mental health conversation. Helping boys and young men with their mental health must be a priority. Parents, schools, and community groups can work together. Young men must be given a chance to internalize the benefits of compassion, vulnerability, and communication.
Collaborations between schools and community groups and mental health counseling clinics will also be effective. These could be workshops and informative seminars conducted by mental health professionals for students, parents, teachers, and guidance counselors. Supporting our boys and young men has to be an all-round effort. The damaging information about behavioral norms that they receive can be corrected. They need empowering, healthy messaging in their environments.
Community or school-based mentoring programs are also beneficial in providing young men the guidance and leadership they need. Realistic role models who can be seen doing tangible work in real-time can have a far-reaching, positive affect.
FAQs
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If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to mental health services for support. At Trust Mental Health our diverse team of therapists provide treatment such as depression therapy, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, and more. We offer in-person and online therapy (telehealth). Contact us today for a free 15 minute conversation. We will match you with a therapist best suited to your needs.
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Depression therapy gives you a safe space for you to share and talk about what you are going through. It will help you understand and navigate your emotions. Treatment aims to help you recognize your unhealthy thought patterns and how these influence your behavior. Trust Mental Health offers several approaches to treating depression including mindfulness, talk therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy. During treatment, you will be given a safe, judgement-free space with a therapist you trust.
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We accept the following insurance: United Healthcare, Aetna, Cigna, Valley Health Plan, and Lyra EAP.
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REFERENCES:
[1] https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/01/07/794182826/boys-sex-reveals-that-young-men-feel-cut-off-from-their-hearts
[2] https://www.gq.com/story/state-of-masculinity-survey
[3] Milner et al., 2018.
[4] Fagell, Phyllis L. Middle School Matters, 2019
[5] 2017 National Survey on Drug Use and Health
[6] www.cdc.gov
[7] https://www.nami.org/mhstats